Alice is Two!

Today my girl is two. The day has been full of joy and the slightest bit of sadness (on my part) as my baby isn't a baby anymore. I've always hated when people say to new mothers, "enjoy it, it goes so fast!" As if anyone in the newborn baby bubble is not enjoying that sweet little burrito baby they have swaddled up in their arms. Or as if anyone is able to actually enjoy their kid throwing a tantrum in public while they wipe their nose on your clothes and eat the last of your meal. It's funny how that goes both ways. As a mom, I am quite reflective and present to intentionally finding the joy in my children and this little life of ours. But the truth of it is: it really does go fast. Too fast. She was just a burrito swaddled up in my arms yesterday. Yesterday she was 5lbs and her newborn clothes were swimming on her and she needed premie clothes. How is she today the little firecracker that learned this week to tell me, "no way!" with gusto!? 

But last night as I was putting her into the bathtub, I noticed how long her legs were. How tall she's looking. And I thought about how cruel it feels to spend so much time trying to survive the newborn and infant stage (and in my case - keep her alive to see her 2nd bday, my wild girl...) and once you emerge from it, you're devastated that it's over. No one speaks much about the emotional sorrow that comes as a mama. But it is so real. 

And then the sun came up today. And that little girl came out of her room this morning saying, "hiiiiiiii!"and I thought to myself, it's not really over. We may be past it on the timeline, but the fact is I carry it with me. I see her today as a 2 year old but I hold every story of hers since the minute she took a breath. And that's not gone. And then I breathed a sigh of relief. She's still my girl. Same as yesterday.

It does leave me grateful that she isn't privy to any of this emotional toll within me and that she is one happy little girl who is dying to have her cupcakes. I am so grateful for her sweet spirit and the fire in her heart. I cannot fathom my life without her and am grateful each day to be her mama. Happiest Birthday, my Alice Olivia. I love you more than you will ever know. <3